I hadn’t quite thought about what I was going to write for this week’s post until Saturday Night. I was throwing a taco party at my apartment when my friend Eli reached into my whisk(e)y cabinet (pictured above) and pulled out this bottle of Hogshead. Upon pulling it out, another friend yelled “That has got to be the worst whisky I’ve ever had.”
I agree with him.
I got this bottle of whisky around this time last year for my 22nd birthday from the Eli mentioned earlier in this post and Gabe. They never tried it before shelling out nearly 50 bucks for it. I guess they were just seduced by the packaging.
The whisky is a golden brown/maple-like color and has a smell that can knock you out from across the room. The smell can only be described as smoke, ash, alcohol, total devastation and bad ideas. It’s basically arson in a bottle.
Upon tasting it, you think one thing: bacon. This whisky tastes like bacon.
After some research, the Hogshead is described on various websites as “a superlative vatted malt scotch whisky created by marrying many different malts together. It has an unusually high proportion of malts from the island of Islay, producing a distinctive but subtle peaty flavor.”
Well, its also tastes like lighter fluid. There’s really nothing subtle about lighter fluid.
I’ve tried everything to get rid of this whisky short of just throwing it away. I’ve racked my brain to find a way to mix it in a cocktail but the taste is just too overbearing. I’ve tried innocently leaving the bottle at parties or when I’m hanging out away from the house but eventually I always get a call saying to pick it up, like it’s a child after daycare.
In the year that I’ve own this bottle, I’ve only met one person who liked it. He mixed it with a can of expired orange soda he found in the back of my fridge and thought it was delicious. I have no plans to re-create that drink.
However, it looks like scotch-flavored bacon may in my near future.