I am sitting in my living room on a Monday night. Its rainy and cold outside in the middle of March on the outskirts of San Francisco. I should be studying for a Midterm in my “Thought and Culture in the US” class, but I have a bottle of Bushmills and that’s about all the culture I need.
Tonight I am drinking Bushmills Irish Whiskey (The “E” is included on most Irish Whiskey). I think Bushmills was the Whiskey that got me into being an alcoholic that spends his Monday nights drinking by himself while listening to old Minor Threat records. Bushmills has a distinctive gold color, and a light viscosity. But what I love most about Bushmills is the scent. A smell of carmel, chocolate and light cherry awaits anybody with extra-large nostrils who happens to sniff their Whiskey before drinking it.
I happen to be one of those individuals.
Bushmills is smooth and has very short notes. I usually enjoy mine on the rocks or with a splash of Tonic. Bushmills Distillery is the oldest in all of Ireland. I heard Bushmills actually saved the Irish population from the potato famine! But the same guy who told me that also said he rode a chariot made of chocolate and feathers to work everyday…I found out it was actually a Honda.
Bushmills is a blended Whiskey which means that it is a whiskey mixed with a neutral grain spirit, something like vodka. Some people believe that blended whiskies are inferior to, say, a single malt whiskey. Those people are idiots. I would never trust anyone that said that. Honestly if you have any friend that says that, run over him with your car. Actually you know what? Blacklist’em. Go to all your local bars with a picture of that douchebag and go to the bartenders and say “See this guy? Yeah? Fuck that guy! Don’t let him drink here.” And then piss on the picture just for good measure.
I am now on my third glass of Bushmills and I must say that the only downside to drinking Bushmills is that it makes you want to drink a shit ton of Bushmills. That being said I am going to give this Whiskey an A for effort and an A….for whatever else you would grade Whiskey on. Totally worth the $19.99 price tag.
If Jesus were a Whiskey, he would be Bushmills cos he is kind, smooth and smells like Cherry.